Monday, January 28, 2008

Gender Bender!


We are all reeling from some shocking news.

Lyalya. Sweet, cute Lyalya... is a BOY! I'm feeling equally stunned about a.) not having noticed this rather obvious fact before now... and b.) Lyalya isn't a "she," but rather a "he"!!!

Once you've used feminine pronouns with your pet for a half a year, it's quite hard to all of the sudden switch! And our "concept" of Lyalya is that she's a girl--oops--he's a girl--but he's not... and well, you see how this starts to get complicated.

I was in the middle of tutoring my two 11-year-old girls while Lyalya lounged on his back next to us. (Gosh, it was hard to write "his" instead of "her" just there!). One of them remarked that her bottom looked a little odd--"Is THAT (and you know what I mean) her behind?" For the first time, I actually looked at her (HIM! Drat! HIM!) and quickly realized that not only was it not a bottom, but that she/he actually had testicles... and was shocked. There was no denying it!

The girls went running to their moms and we all tried to digest the news! Katya was home, playing in another room. We told her and she went pale. She started to cry as I tried to explain to her how we had been wrong all along--that Lyalya hadn't all of the sudden changed gender. "But didn't she like being a girl? Why did she have to go and get a p----?????" She felt personally hurt, as if this oversight had anything to do with the cat's feelings for her.

Needless to say, as soon as they're old enough, both cats will get immediately sterilized!

We now need to rethink his name. Calling him "Lyalya" is like calling him "La-la" or "Sweetie-poo" in English. That just doesn't jibe with that new anatomy we discovered today. Perhaps "Lyalik"...

This is all just too funny to me. I remember getting some sex ed lessons myself when my parents got me guinea pig as a child. (How old was I, Mom? Fourth grade?) We had Inky, a girl, and then we got Bertha, a girl. Turns out that Bertha was pregnant--quite a surprise. The other surprise was Inky's loud desire for Bertha--and her hot pursuit of her that always took place during dinner time--right next to the table. My parents had certainly never intended for their benign purchase of guinea pig to open up the panacea of questions regarding homosexuality!

Natalia's home... And now we have to break the news to her.

Wonder how Chris will take it, too!

Addendum
Oh, Boy... (No pun intended... Truly!) Natalia is rather intrigued. Upon verification, she declared that she wanted to switch cats with Katya because, "I love boys. So she's, um, he's mine." Uh-oh!!

12 comments:

Tami said...

No wonder she...uh, he...looks so miserable in the photo. ;) Glad you found out before things got a little too romantic at your flat! ;) THAT would be hard to explain!

Tina in CT said...

You said it Tami!

The cat's grandma

peter - male (dina's husband) said...

This reminds me of when my sister got a kitten during the 1972 summer olympics when Olga Korbut was the star gymnast. We named our cat Olga, only to find out (eventually) that she was a HE! So we named him Oleg instead but somehow, that didn't stick. So we named him Korbut.

Annie said...

We gave our friend Masha a kitten whom she named Nastya - let's just say, she now calls him Vasya. Woops. But I guess it happens all the time. This must be a fun little game God plays with us; now couldn't He have made those things a LITTLE more obvious???

BTW - "Korbut" cracks me up! Perfect cat name. :)

Katya said...

Hee hee. I just got Ms. M (Ben's teacher) 2 Firebelly Toads as a classroom pet. Apparently they have a rather LOUD and amorous relationship that then enjoy consumating when the class gets quiet such as during spelling tests.

Tina in CT said...

Katya,

That is hilarious about the toads!

Tina in CT said...

Katya,

That is hilarious about the toads!

Rachael said...

I am truly laughing out loud over here. The funniest part of all is first: Katya's dramatic reaction (I can hear it now in my mind!) and second (almost funnier) is Natalia's declaration that she wants to switch because she loves boy. OMG, I'm laughing out loud again. Really, still laughing.

Rachael said...

boys.

laughing so hard, i didn't check my grammar.

Christine said...

This is something my girls would do with our dog!

ourboysourlives said...

OMG that is soo funny thankfully I am home alone and laughing out loud...

Nataliya said...

Oh-oh... Poor Katya! I know, it's not funny for her, but it's really hilarious :)