So, so sick...
I even missed work today. Diagnosis? Bacterial infection, causing aching all over, pain in ears and throat, burning in chest, and a fever since Monday.
It's been developing for about two weeks now, but I was kind of in denial... I did my best to take it easy, putting off whatever didn't have to get done at work--but then that only lead to things' piling up, and now I'm both very sick and very behind.
It's ironic, because a lovely former student of mine (she's now in law school at Harvard and I taught her French was she was in eighth grade) wrote me the kindest email yesterday about how much she enjoys reading my blog... That it's been really inspirational to her to read about our life, seeing how a woman can find fulfillment in both family, work and creative personal endeavors. She's at that crossroads in her legal studies, about to decide what type of law career to begin--and where--and she wants to "have it all" down the road (a job she loves and time for her family).
Oh, but my dear... It's so not easy... And so many days it feels darn near impossible, as if you're clawing your way through it...
I'm sick now because I can't do it all... I just keep telling myself that things have been extremely exhausting because I started working in mid-July (and next year I won't have to do that) and because I'm new to this job... We've started many new programs, too. And many of our faculty are new, with this being the first time I've worked with helping new colleagues in their transition.
On top of it all, I'm teaching TOEFL preparation to the 10th graders, something I had never done before. I had never actually even seen a TOEFL exam until August. I'm probably putting two hours (sometimes even more) of prep/grading into every 40-minute lesson. That will surely get easier as I feel more mastery over the material... But the stakes are so high, since the students need to do well on the exam at the end of this academic year in order to apply to universities in the USA, Scotland and UK next fall.
Back to that super team of doctors I have on my case, though. The girls aren't used to seeing me entirely out of commission and they have been the loveliest daughters on earth! So, so sweet... Wiping my face with their cool hands to relieve the fever, snuggling me all the time (ugh, hope they don't catch it...), whispering me encouraging and loving words...
Doctor Katya's verdict? Among many other things, no raising my voice at all, so I need to stay in bed (where I can't see what they're up to!).
Added later: It's not the flu; they did bloodwork at the clinic and determined it's not viral.