Thursday, April 29, 2010

Barely Breathing

I feel so bad about neglecting my blog... SO much has gone on... So many neat ideas to write about...

But I've been barely keeping afloat.

My husband has been under such deadlines at work that we've barely seen him since the beginning of March... I then spent 10 days in the USA with my high school students, during which time I was the only person responsible who spoke English and I was in charge of every single detail... Then I got back to Moscow, and my kids REALLY needed me since they hadn't seen much of their dad at all while I was away...

GUILT, GUILT, GUILT and a LOT of emotional kiddo fall-out to deal with, while somehow sashaying my way through jet lag and instantly having to be back at work.

Throw in a health scare for myself that THANKFULLY turned out to be nothing, but nonetheless took up two afternoons I didn't have to get to the doctor's... And a week's worth of worrying...

And then a 2nd degree burn on my right hand from baking cookies with the girls because I felt I just had to find the time... Then Asya (our female cat) ran into the kitchen and meowed really loudly, startling me, so I slammed my hand into the grill inside our oven...

Then another incident of Asya jumping up onto the stove while I was making macaroni... I was on the phone with a student's mother when I had to say, "Excuse me! I'll call you back! My cat is on fire!" (What's up with that? Last time she caught on fire, I was leading book club at our house and said almost the same thing...)

And then Lyalya had to get sick again, and I got a call at work asking, "So, you need to decide either how he will die (injection or slow, painful death) or we can operate again." Yet another &*(^^%!!@@#**(& toy ended up in his kidney... He's still at the hospital; his surgery was yesterday and it was successful. Yes, I know there are those who must think I'm insane to operate yet again. But we LOVE him! And I'm so darn worn out, I just can't deal with grieving him right now, and being there for grieving kids...

And both girls have been home sick since last Thursday. (Nasty virus in the city; many kids have been out).

And it has been a really, really hard month (make that few months...or year...) at work...

And our kitchen faucet broke. And of course the major lightbulbs that aren't standard sizes all of the sudden needed to be replaced.

And iced tea was spilled on our couch slipcover, necessitating a difficult schlep to the dry cleaner's (since it's too heavy for our washing machine, was is also, incidentally, about to break).

And Katya's insomnia has been much worse, requiring night supervision... Not getting worn out during the day at school has made it hard for her to sleep. Moms just aren't meant to police their kids at 2:15 a.m., hiding the television remotes (ours won't work without them), cleaning up from art projects & a snack fest, and then dealing with the next hour while said child just can't sleep, all before having to get up for work at 6:30...

And our babysitter needed an emergency root canal today, necessitating ALL kinds of creative solutions on my part.

And my mom's boss unexpectedly retired and now she's worried about her own job.

I'm a-b-s-o-l-u-t-e-l-y overwhelmed. UNBELIEVABLY so.

Oh, my suitcases from that trip to America? When I got back on April 1st? THEY'RE STILL NOT UNPACKED, MESSY ON MY BEDROOM FLOOR.

That's kind of how I feel all over...

There HAS been lots of "good," too... But I'll blog about it separately.

When I've had some sleep.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I really enjoy reading your blog. This entry actually made me laugh a little (Sorry! I know what you were experiencing was not funny!) because the incidents kept coming! I hope you have now caught a break, everyone is getting healthy, and life is a little more boring for your family!
Cheryl in Idaho

Anonymous said...

I am sorry, but I am like Cheryl, I was laughing through tears reading your blog.
I sure do hope, you will get some break (in about 10 years, most likely).
The reason I was laughing was that your blog was almost word by word a letter I wrote to my mother years ago,in very angry mood, answering to her remarks that I must be not telling her all the truth about how I am doing. And except for the fact that we did not have cats (we had salamanders that escaped instead) and my husband on the top of spending very long ours in the lab was spending weeks and weeks on business trips, the rest fits like a glove. And I was trying to get to work at earlier and earlier hour every day, so I can spend evenings with children ..
And the rest you described just so beautifully
Olga

MoscowMom said...

I am SO glad that you both laughed, Olga & Cheryl! Trying to have a sense of humor through it all (I mean, come ON! Does it have to keep on coming?!) has been the only way I've been coping day to day.

I really the pity the traffic cop who could have the misfortune to pull me over for no reason at all and try to get a bribe out of me this month... I think I'd snap and rip him apart verbally! (That happened once before during a really bad month, and I actually scared the cop away! It just wasn't worth it to push me any further!)

The upside to the girls' being sick is that there hasn't been pressure to go "do" stuff--so we've had healing time to just cuddle and play board games...

MoscowMom said...

Olga-- one more thing... I haven't had the strength to either tell my mom everything that was going on or to try to hide it from her so as to not worry her, so I ended up unintentionally not calling/writing for almost three weeks! And my poor dad, too!!!!! Luckily they understand...

Annie said...

I guess I'm tired enough - and concerned enough about your mom - and exhausted enough from midnight teaching, not to laugh at all, but to really feel SORRY for you.

Thanks for sharing, though.... I'm sure it was really hard for your girls for you to be gone when those bombs went off in Moscow. Hard to be away from mommy when you are scared.

Rachael said...

Well, I wish I could give you a hug. Or babysit for an afternoon so you could take a nap!

Glad you found a moment to vent on the blog at least, since I too have missed your posts lately.

Anonymous said...

nice to have you back - i have been worried...

miss you!
jeannie

Katie (and Tony) said...

Wow! And I thought my week was bad...Here is hoping to a much better May! I do not know if you can buy it in Russia, but our son sometimes has sleep issues. Melatonin is a natural product you can buy in pill or liquid form. This helps him settle down and gives him a nice restful sleep. Our pediatrician recommended it. If you are interested and can't find it, let me know. Mommy might want to take some too! ;-)

Hugs,
Katie

Tina in CT said...

We need to talk tomorrow. I'll be outside gardening until early afternoon (trying to beat the heat as it's suppose to be in the mid 80's).

Not scrapping tonight as it's the happy hour after work for my boss. Just devastated about her last day.

The Expatresse said...

Oh! Poor you. I sort of chuckled, except I know how hard it is to deal with all those small annoyances in Moscow. What should be just . . . well, annoying becomes a HUGE deal.

I took R to the ER last night (a scare, but most likely nothing) and the whole time I was telling myself how relatively easy it was. Certainly easier than when he was in the hospital in Moscow.

[[[[[BIG HUGS]]]]]]