Saturday, April 9, 2011

American Girls No Longer in Moscow... And Then in Moscow... And Now Unsure...

It has been a few months of big changes...

I accepted a job teaching French and Spanish at a great boarding school in Massachusetts and we had all made the decision to move and somehow make it work... Simply choosing to move was HUGE. All the details then came rushing at us... Exhilarating and exhausting.... When I had initially applied for jobs, I wasn't sure we would actually be leaving this year. It was a surprise when we found this one school that seemed to be a perfect fit for us. I had never thought of this year as our last in Moscow and there are so many things that we still haven't done here...

We made a quick one-week trip to the US to visit the school... Managed to cram in seeing my mom and some dear friends... Then flew back and I INSTANTLY jumped back into work, also covering for a colleague who has been ill while dealing with my and the girls' jet lag...

And then for various reasons that had nothing to do with our simply having second thoughts, all of the sudden I had to turn the job down. It was utterly unexpected and it took the wind out of us.

Now we're thoroughly tired, physically and emotionally... No idea what's next... I have other options at some great schools, but they aren't in areas where we could see ourselves long-term taking all things into consideration...

It appears we'll stay for one more year, knowing it's our last.... This way we would have plenty of time to plan in advance... But it won't be certain until other things fall into place in the next few weeks.

Argh, the not knowing is hard! The whole time we've lived here, I've never known what "the game plan" is. The uncertainty, the inability to make any long-term plans, has been the hardest part of living here for me. I've just needed to know. Life of course always brings surprises—but I wanted to at least have an idea of where we were headed...

If we do end up deciding to leave at the end of this school year, it is going to be bittersweet and exhausting... So much planning, sorting and packing... And then starting out all over again somewhere in the US. It would also be tough quite possibly having our family on two continents, doing what has to be the crummiest commute!

7 comments:

Lois said...

I understand what you mean about not knowing what the long term plan is and the stress that it can create. However it turns out, without a doubt you'll handle it better than most of us would!
Bon courage!

Annie said...

It would be lovely to have you blog more, but I know what you mean....Sometimes when there are the most things to blg about, you can't manage the time to do it.

Susan said...

Oh Tamara, I can only imagine how hard life must be right now for you and your family.
I guess you will have to live in the moment...even though thats so very hard with children.
I hope and pray that everything turns out just as it should:)

The Expatresse said...

I wondered about the whirlwind trip.

Wishing you lots of love and strength and patience as the adventure moves forward.

Garnet said...

Best wishes and prayers for working out the future. Living on a boarding school campus is what our life has been for the past 14 years and although I have no idea what the school you were looking at was like I know where we've been, it has been wonderful in many ways for our children, though of course nothing is perfect. Trusting that this fell through because something better is coming up. Hope that you can enjoy a final year where you really plan to do all that you have missed out on or want to do again. (And that your mother can make it through one more year. I seriously think if I'd told my mother I was returning to the U.S. and then had to tell her otherwise, she might kill me. Of course, that would defeat her purpose, but she might not consider that in the heat of the moment!)

Hope you will keep us updated. Of course I enjoy reading about Moscow and Russia itself, but I've also appreciated so much hearing about the teaching -- you have such enthusiasm and good ideas for it. I would love to get back into teaching EFL and I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it, but my husband is a French teacher here at our school. He has no training in that -- his qualification was that he's studied French since 2nd grade. Funny thing is that he has many French-speaking students from Rwanda and other countries who have spoken it all their lives, yet their grammar is terrible. He could benefit from hearing about teaching foreign languages as well.

Prayers for peace for you and your family!

Anonymous said...

Oh,
I am lost for words!
At least do yourself a favor and use your last year in Russia as a year long "vacation", if you can.
Best wishes,
Olga

Melissa Q. said...

Tamara,

I just found out you were blogging again--and now this! Hugs and love. Mxoxo